Friday, December 3, 2010 "Blizzard Warnings!"
We are very homesick. I can't wait to get home to "sunny and warm" Clearwater! The talk today during my dialysis was about a possible "BLIZZARD" tomorrow. Are you kidding me? a BLIZZARD! I haven't been outside in weeks but am still freezing. People in Minnesota think hurricanes and alligators are scary - and they may have a BLIZZARD!
Our week wasn't dull - I'm getting good at keeping things exciting. We were released from the hospital last Thursday. Saturday morning I had a significant amount of bleeding. We went to the hospital to get checked out and they told me I "had bought myself a new admission and a colonoscopy." People no longer respect promises - I had my regular colonoscopy in August 2009 and was "promised" I wouldn't need another for 3 years!
Seriously, colonoscopies are nothing - everyone seems to agree the preparation is the worst part. This time the preparation caused some nausea and vomiting so Sunday was not a fun day. Monday morning I was taken down for the procedure and by Monday night we knew the bleeding was not a major problem. One of the concerns was that the bleeding might be caused by the amyloidosis attacking my digestive system. It was quite a relief mentally to know the doctors do not think that has happened. I added 4 more days to my hospitalization total and was released on Tuesday afternoon.
Please continue to lift us up in prayer. God has been so faithful and I don't like admitting when I have a "faith crisis." I totally lost my focus one night early this week and convinced myself in the middle of the night that I would never make it home to Clearwater to see my kids or grandkids again. I'm sure it was precipitated by a discussion with the doctors upon my re-admission to the hospital as to whether or not I wanted them to use "heroic measures" to resuscitate me if I "coded" during any procedure. When you lose your focus and your faith falters, you begin to imagine things - I convinced myself the doctors knew something about my condition they didn't want to tell me and that's why we had that discussion.
Now that I am again an "outpatient," I go to the Mayo Clinic every day for appointments with doctors, physical therapy or dialysis. Wednesday I had physical therapy - I did not do well. I'm having a difficult time with balance.Candidly, I'm not performing well with the strength or walking either. I've got some real helpers in Clearwater who have come out in the past to encourage and walk with me in the mall. They helped me recover from the bone marrow transplant. I'm looking forward to seeing them and having them help me again. Right, friends?
I have physical therapy this morning (Friday) and depending upon when we travel HOME I will have one or two more physical therapy sessions here.
My next dialysis is Saturday and a Mayo social worker is coordinating with a dialysis center in Clearwater to make sure I am set up for dialysis when we GET HOME.
Patra may take away my role praying for our meals. Lately, I can't get passed praying for the kids and grandkids without getting emotional. She can't get passed me being emotional. Meanwhile, the food is getting cold!
When we met with the nephrologist yesterday, he discussed my staying in Rochester another week to allow a vascular surgeon to install a "fistula"in my arm which I will use for dialysis. I told the doctor I didn't think I could handle any more "procedures" right now. I am down to 150 pounds and frankly need a little break from the probing and cutting. An additional procedure would mean an additional delay in getting HOME. I told him I was "homesick" and that I was confident I could find a qualified vascular surgeon in Clearwater.
Also today (Friday) I am scheduled for "autonomic reflex testing." Monday we meet with the doctor to discuss the findings. I'll be honest with you - I have no idea what it is about or why I am taking it. Once the doctors told me it wasn't "invasive" I was satisfied that everything else would work out. Monday's meeting with the doctor may be an important one. Please pray specifically that the doctors will say we can GO HOME!
Father, you are so faithful. Help me not to lose my focus - to keep my eyes on You! If it is Your will, I pray that we can go home soon and continue my recovery there.
We love you and appreciate you more than you will ever know. God Bless!
Until next Friday - and hopefully from WARM, SUNNY Clearwater where the only place they talk about BLIZZARDS is at the Dairy Queen! God willing.
Bob
We are very homesick. I can't wait to get home to "sunny and warm" Clearwater! The talk today during my dialysis was about a possible "BLIZZARD" tomorrow. Are you kidding me? a BLIZZARD! I haven't been outside in weeks but am still freezing. People in Minnesota think hurricanes and alligators are scary - and they may have a BLIZZARD!
Our week wasn't dull - I'm getting good at keeping things exciting. We were released from the hospital last Thursday. Saturday morning I had a significant amount of bleeding. We went to the hospital to get checked out and they told me I "had bought myself a new admission and a colonoscopy." People no longer respect promises - I had my regular colonoscopy in August 2009 and was "promised" I wouldn't need another for 3 years!
Seriously, colonoscopies are nothing - everyone seems to agree the preparation is the worst part. This time the preparation caused some nausea and vomiting so Sunday was not a fun day. Monday morning I was taken down for the procedure and by Monday night we knew the bleeding was not a major problem. One of the concerns was that the bleeding might be caused by the amyloidosis attacking my digestive system. It was quite a relief mentally to know the doctors do not think that has happened. I added 4 more days to my hospitalization total and was released on Tuesday afternoon.
Please continue to lift us up in prayer. God has been so faithful and I don't like admitting when I have a "faith crisis." I totally lost my focus one night early this week and convinced myself in the middle of the night that I would never make it home to Clearwater to see my kids or grandkids again. I'm sure it was precipitated by a discussion with the doctors upon my re-admission to the hospital as to whether or not I wanted them to use "heroic measures" to resuscitate me if I "coded" during any procedure. When you lose your focus and your faith falters, you begin to imagine things - I convinced myself the doctors knew something about my condition they didn't want to tell me and that's why we had that discussion.
Now that I am again an "outpatient," I go to the Mayo Clinic every day for appointments with doctors, physical therapy or dialysis. Wednesday I had physical therapy - I did not do well. I'm having a difficult time with balance.Candidly, I'm not performing well with the strength or walking either. I've got some real helpers in Clearwater who have come out in the past to encourage and walk with me in the mall. They helped me recover from the bone marrow transplant. I'm looking forward to seeing them and having them help me again. Right, friends?
I have physical therapy this morning (Friday) and depending upon when we travel HOME I will have one or two more physical therapy sessions here.
My next dialysis is Saturday and a Mayo social worker is coordinating with a dialysis center in Clearwater to make sure I am set up for dialysis when we GET HOME.
Patra may take away my role praying for our meals. Lately, I can't get passed praying for the kids and grandkids without getting emotional. She can't get passed me being emotional. Meanwhile, the food is getting cold!
When we met with the nephrologist yesterday, he discussed my staying in Rochester another week to allow a vascular surgeon to install a "fistula"in my arm which I will use for dialysis. I told the doctor I didn't think I could handle any more "procedures" right now. I am down to 150 pounds and frankly need a little break from the probing and cutting. An additional procedure would mean an additional delay in getting HOME. I told him I was "homesick" and that I was confident I could find a qualified vascular surgeon in Clearwater.
Also today (Friday) I am scheduled for "autonomic reflex testing." Monday we meet with the doctor to discuss the findings. I'll be honest with you - I have no idea what it is about or why I am taking it. Once the doctors told me it wasn't "invasive" I was satisfied that everything else would work out. Monday's meeting with the doctor may be an important one. Please pray specifically that the doctors will say we can GO HOME!
Father, you are so faithful. Help me not to lose my focus - to keep my eyes on You! If it is Your will, I pray that we can go home soon and continue my recovery there.
We love you and appreciate you more than you will ever know. God Bless!
Until next Friday - and hopefully from WARM, SUNNY Clearwater where the only place they talk about BLIZZARDS is at the Dairy Queen! God willing.
Bob
Comments
You have every right to get emotional about the children and grandchildren; they are so close to our hearts and thanks for continuing to share your heart with us; that is what makes humans "connected" and knowing we are One with Jesus makes our bond even stronger!
Can't wait for you to get "home"
God bless you real good today!
Ted & Carol W
We continue to pray for and are proud of you and your faith. But I am going to "talk turkey "to you. The Lord made you human so He could use you with all of US. He didn't tell you couldn't have human moments. That discussion is an obligation for Doctors and is scary to us. I just got it the other day. It is OK to have those times. Also, the emotional and tears is a side effect of surgery and is a physical body reaction that I think God Himself designed to release the stress in our bodies. Somehow over the years we Christians tend to beat ourselves up when we have a "human " moment. DON'T feel that makes you weak.I know homesick is real. Please know I am not making light of your situation. Just know that it is too ominous when you are going through so much. Love you lots, and by the way, it was 39 degrees here early this morning. Get physically strong for the trip home. Rana
Bob and Patra, you are both so dear to us, and we continue to pray for God's wisdom and a miracle for you. As people who hurt from tiny little hurts, it is hard to imagine the BIG hurts that you have been and are enduring.
We are anxious for you to get back to Clearwater HOME. Even we are not going to mind leaving TN to get back to Clearwater and the nice weather in January, February, and March.
Please know that we LOVE you and continue to PRAY and PRAISE on your behalf.
Carrying you both in our hearts, Lex and Linda
Yes, let's do those mall walks again SOON!
Also I continue to practice making brownies and apple muffins so that I won't get out of practice and can share with you again.
Can I relate when you said that you had had enough of procedures!! I have had a few myself. After a while you have to say enough is enough, even though I have not had to go through anywhere near what you have gone through. We are praying for you to be strengthened in your inner man as well as your outer man Thank you for your continuing faith, and we know that God will bring you through in victory!!! Tom and Margie
- Bob in NYC.
Jon/Marilyn
thinking of you and praying for you both daily. we have been following your writings for many weeks now more closely.
bob, your blog is a great inspiration and humbling how one man (that means you) is showing another man (that means me [and many others i am sure]) how to keep the main thing, the main thing. and ever faithful patra, the caregiver of caregivers
--bob,what a woman you are blessed with! you both have not been forgotten back in clearwater.
looking forward to seeing you when you get back. i guess no more tennis or grey firebirds, but it is funny how perspective can change when your focus is on Him.
we love you. keep the faith. keep focused. see you soon.
jim and polly hammond.
Sue B.
You would not be human if you did not experience discouragement. I feel a bit silly reminding YOU of such, knowing how much wiser and experienced you are than me but I feel compelled to say it. I think of (somewhere) in the Psalms that He made us and knows how weak we are. I do not know why you have been dealt this hand but I do believe that His grace covers you like a giant (electric!) blanket!! Lindsey and I are praying for you. Also, we are looking forward to seeing Andrew tomorrow, as he is the only boy invited to a princess bday party at our house! What a good sport that he is coming!!! Actually, perhaps his mother did not fully explain that to him... I will send pictures!
Love, Jennifer N
Thank you for being "real" in your faith and also in your fears and being transparent enough to share these from your heart. You know about the rock being dropped in a pond and you watch the rippling effect as it expands....so is your impact on all of those who are privileged to follow your journey and as we share this with others who don't even know you but yet have been impacted by your life and your family and are praying for you all...the ripples keep moving outward. We are praying for you to be home soon because as Dorothy said "There is no place like home!" We love you!...Linda and Steven
Sarah
(Thom's daughter)
Thinking of you...J.R. and Pat