UP and DOWN

Friday, September 23, 2011
from Bob

"UP" and "DOWN"

"Through it all,
Through it all,
I've learned to trust in Jesus,
I've learned to trust in God.
Through it all,
Through it all,
I learned to depend on His Word."


We knew when we started this journey against this nasty little disease that it would be a roller coaster ride. Some days we're going UP and some days we're going DOWN.

"UP"... I woke up Saturday morning and felt the best I have in almost 2 years. Patra and I decided to drive over to Clearwater Beach and she pushed me in my wheelchair on the beachwalk. I even felt well enough to walk a little while holding onto the handles of my wheelchair.

Beach, sand, surf... beautiful. It was great medicine.

I was still feeling pretty strong, so we went to one of our favorite beach restaurants and sat next to a window overlooking the water. Watching sailboats, powerboats and jet skis while we ate lunch was an uplifting experience. I told Patra that this meal had to make up for all the birthdays and anniversaries we've missed these past 2 years.

After a long afternoon nap, I wanted to go to the mall. It had been such a long time since we had been there, it felt like a vacation. What a GREAT day!

Sunday, I still felt energized and we went to church and lunch with friends. It was a rare and unbelievable weekend.

"DOWN"... Monday was dialysis day. Because I had had such a great weekend, my liquid weight was probably higher than it should have been. It was necessary for the nurses to take off a LOT of fluid. Unfortunately when they were finished, I became very dizzy and my blood pressure dropped significantly. It took awhile before I was released from dialysis. It's hard enough to sit there for 4 hours while I receive treatment, but to have to sit another hour or so in that chair becomes almost impossible emotionally.

When we got home, I passed out when I tried to stand up. Patra couldn't hold me very long and told me she gently lowered me to the floor. I take issue with that since I think she broke one of my ribs. Because I was dehydrated from dialysis, one of the unfortunate side effects is muscle spasms. While I was on the floor, any time I moved or anytime Patra tried to lift me, it felt as if I was grabbing hold of a high voltage power line. My back has never hurt so much. She eventually got me half on the bed but the effort caused me to again pass out again, so she slid me back to the floor. Jenny and the kids came over and she and Patra tried every conceivable way to get me up. I refused to let them call 9-1-1 or any neighbors because I knew they would try to pick me up, and my pain was just TOO intense. Even when my arm or foot was touched, it caused me to flinch and my back felt like a bolt of lightning had just hit me.

Eventually, my grandson Andrew (age 6) had an idea. He suggested that we just put a mattress on the floor so I could go to sleep there. We got the mattress that we use in the van for our trips to Gainesville, and I was eventually able to be rolled onto it. After I was able to gain some level of comfort, Patra and I had dinner on the floor and we commented on how it felt like we were camping out again like we used to do when we first got married.

"UP"... The next morning the intense pain had subsided some, and although I was very stiff and sore Patra was finally able to help me off the floor. I spent the rest of the day in bed on a heating pad.

"DOWN"... On Wednesday after dialysis I seemed to repeat Monday's pattern, and had to remain an extra hour until my blood pressure was stable enough for me to leave.

"UP"... When we finally got home Wednesday, Patra refused to let me stand, so I didn't pass out. Fortunately, I was able to sleep in my bed that night instead of the floor.

"DOWN"... I have realized that I will never be able to return to the practice of mediation...

"UP"... so we have finally put my law office for sale. I always thought I'd not be able to emotionally let go of my office. Patra and I designed it and did much of the finishing work inside. I believe God has given me a peace about letting it go, and it was not as hard as I had imagined it would be. It has been a wonderful family business with Jenny and Patra working by my side, but it is time to let it go.

"Through it all", whether UP or DOWN, God has been faithful.

Dear God,
I thank you for your presence in my life. I thank you for friends who pray for me. Thank you for allowing me to feel well enough to have such a great weekend. It is my prayer that they can resolve this blood pressure issue during dialysis. Thank you for my children and grandchildren and the blessing that they are in my life. I pray that I would remain faithful to you. In Jesus' name, Amen.


Until next Friday, God willing
Bob

Comments

Anonymous said…
UP: Every Friday morning when I read your blog. Bless you and we love you The Perry's
Anonymous said…
Thanks Bob for the update. Yes,the ups and downs of life and we are so grateful for the "ups" and feel bummed by the "downs". We always think of you as "up" as you lift our spirits and have been such a blessing in our lives, even before this "nasty little disease". You still truly inspire us and give us such insight. Your faith is there, thru the ups and downs. The decision to sell your practice is hard, I know, but it is all in God's hands. We still pray for recovery for you. We pray that God will comfort you and Patra as you continue this journey and thank yo for sharing your joys and your woes; it helps us get thru our daily journey with our ups and downs as well. May this day be a special "up" day for you! May God give you rainbows!

Take care my friends!

Ted & Carol W
Anonymous said…
Good Morning Bob,
My heart hurts when I hear all that you have been through this week. Only God fully knows the depths of your pain and the desires of your heart. Your touch on others is so huge; I just hate the fact that it hurts you so much as you walk through those horribly tall weeds.
It does our hearts good when you have an UP time,and it pains us when you have DOWN times.
However, we know exactly how to pray for you through all of those times.
God is the same yesterday, today, and tomorrow. Bob HE still obviously has work for you to do.
We praise God for YOU; we ask for MORE UP times;we pray that God sees fit for you to have GREAT MOMENTS with your family and friends.
You are such a blessing to all of us.
We continue to pray, praise and love you,
Linda and for Lex who is at a conference at this moment.
Anonymous said…
Dear Bob,

I want you to know that all week I wait to read your Friday blog and pray that this week will be one of those "good weeks". Please know that I think about you and your family all of the time and continue to keep you all in my heart and prayers. If there is ever anything I can do, please do not hesitate to reach out.....

Lauren Calta
Anonymous said…
WHOOSH!!! That's a lot of ups and downs! :-) Praying for you and yours. Praying specifically for those hours sitting in dialysis...I don't look forward to my 6 hours of "sitting" either, but now I know, specifically, how we can pray for you!
Love to all,
Lisa, Steve & girls
Anonymous said…
Thanks for writing your blog this week....I'll pray for all up days next week...Steve...
Anonymous said…
I agree with the Perrys- I look forward to reading every Friday. I'm so glad to hear about the "ups" because that is exactly what Lindsey and I have been praying for-that you would feel good and be able to enjoy your family. If we ever forget to pray for you, Lindsey will always remind me that "we need to pray for Mr Bugg!".
Love,
Jennifer N
Ps- why am i not surprised that Andrew came up with the plan. So funny.
Anonymous said…
Every week when I/we read your blog it is with sorrow for all you have experieced on this journey, YET we are so uplifted because of your acceptance of God's faithfulness to you all in this time. Having started a journey "in this type category" of our own with our Lisa, we are grateful for you all sharing your journey with us. It encourages us and reminds us that God will be faithful to carry us through our experience! Thanks for sharing your hearts and lives in these months! Janice & Bob Adams