(Friday, March 25, 2011)
“I thought I was going to die”
I thought I was going to die Saturday morning.
I have never been so scared in my life. Patra also thought I was going to die. It was frightening.
Let me be clear. I am not afraid of dying. I can't wait to be home with Jesus! Throughout this journey, there have been occasions where I have prayed that God would take me home. But I also pray that my homecoming will be peaceful. What I experienced Saturday morning was not peaceful.
Yet throughout the day Saturday and Sunday, while I was in Morton Plant Hospital, I received emails from friends, “Hearing about how you are doing has blessed my life.” “Blessed your life? I almost died. The doctors say I have “pulmonary edema.”
I soon realized what was happening – people were responding to last Friday’s blog, not the emergency treatment I was undergoing.
Things can change very quickly with this “nasty little disease.” I’m going to set out a chronology which may help explain what happened so quickly.
Wednesday, (March 16, 2011) I was feeling very good and I wrote most of my blog because on Thursday I was scheduled for surgery on my fistula.
Thursday, (March 17, 2011) The surgery went well and Jenny updated the blog so it could be posted early Friday morning. Everything is still positive.
Friday night (March 18, 2011) I could not sleep. Finally, about 3:00 a.m. Saturday (March 19, 2011) morning, I told Patra I was going to go into the living room and watch TV and not disturb her. (This is the first time since I became ill that I have left the bedroom and Patra.) Around 5:00 a.m. things were really bad. Every time I took a breath I heard a gurgling in my chest. Then I became short of breath and began to gasp for air. I called out for Patra – she was asleep in the bedroom and couldn’t hear me. Eventually I called out with everything I could and she woke up. (I firmly believe that was an answered prayer because if Patra had not responded when she did, I would not have survived.)
By the time Patra ran to my side, I was in acute distress – I could not breathe or get air. She called 911. Patra and I were both convinced that any moment I would take my last breath.
EMS took me to Morton Plant Hospital where a chest x-ray showed significant fluid in my lungs. I was sent on an emergency basis to the hospital’s dialysis unit and 10 pounds of fluid was removed, primarily from my lungs.
Saturday and Sunday were busy with tests ordered by my nephrologist and cardiologist. The most significant test to determine whether I could be released from the hospital was a heart echo cardiogram performed Sunday morning. Although it showed that my heart function is diminishing, the cardiologist did not feel that it warranted more invasive tests such as a heart biopsy or heart catheterization.
Without going into too much detail, a decision was made to lower my “dry weight” at dialysis and to be more aggressive in removing fluids during dialysis. If this works and I do not accumulate fluid in my lungs, great. If I have continuing problems then I will go back into the hospital for more invasive heart studies. I am praying the more aggressive dialysis works!
On Monday, I went to my regular dialysis and they removed approximately 6 lbs of fluid. If you're keeping score, and if my math is correct, that means on Saturday and Monday, more than 16 lbs of fluid was removed through dialysis. That’s more than 2 gallons of fluid in 3 days.
As I write this on Thursday night, I am feeling pretty good. I had physical therapy today and tomorrow I will go to dialysis.
Months ago, I wrote that this journey through the tall weeds was a roller coaster. This past week certainly exemplified the quickly changing ups and downs.
My brother, Chuck flew into town Monday and we took him to the airport Thursday morning to return home to Kentucky. You may recall from earlier posts that he was/is my spiritual mentor – when I was a teenager, I could always go to him for advice. His visit was way too short. I told him that one of my favorite memories of his trip will be his interaction with Jenny and David's children, Andrew and Megan last night. They really took to him this visit.
Dear God – thank you for saving my life. I have never been so scared. I thought you were bringing me home. Father, that was so frightening and painful, fighting for every breath. If it is your will, I pray that whenever it occurs, I may enter your presence peacefully. Father, this is hard on Patra. She has been through so much. Please wrap her in your love. I pray that the new aggressive dialysis will prevent any reoccurrence of the fluid in my lungs.
We should be reporting the birth of Riley Bugg in next week’s post. I can’t wait to meet him.
Until next Friday. God willing.
Bob
“I thought I was going to die”
I thought I was going to die Saturday morning.
I have never been so scared in my life. Patra also thought I was going to die. It was frightening.
Let me be clear. I am not afraid of dying. I can't wait to be home with Jesus! Throughout this journey, there have been occasions where I have prayed that God would take me home. But I also pray that my homecoming will be peaceful. What I experienced Saturday morning was not peaceful.
Yet throughout the day Saturday and Sunday, while I was in Morton Plant Hospital, I received emails from friends, “Hearing about how you are doing has blessed my life.” “Blessed your life? I almost died. The doctors say I have “pulmonary edema.”
I soon realized what was happening – people were responding to last Friday’s blog, not the emergency treatment I was undergoing.
Things can change very quickly with this “nasty little disease.” I’m going to set out a chronology which may help explain what happened so quickly.
Wednesday, (March 16, 2011) I was feeling very good and I wrote most of my blog because on Thursday I was scheduled for surgery on my fistula.
Thursday, (March 17, 2011) The surgery went well and Jenny updated the blog so it could be posted early Friday morning. Everything is still positive.
Friday night (March 18, 2011) I could not sleep. Finally, about 3:00 a.m. Saturday (March 19, 2011) morning, I told Patra I was going to go into the living room and watch TV and not disturb her. (This is the first time since I became ill that I have left the bedroom and Patra.) Around 5:00 a.m. things were really bad. Every time I took a breath I heard a gurgling in my chest. Then I became short of breath and began to gasp for air. I called out for Patra – she was asleep in the bedroom and couldn’t hear me. Eventually I called out with everything I could and she woke up. (I firmly believe that was an answered prayer because if Patra had not responded when she did, I would not have survived.)
By the time Patra ran to my side, I was in acute distress – I could not breathe or get air. She called 911. Patra and I were both convinced that any moment I would take my last breath.
EMS took me to Morton Plant Hospital where a chest x-ray showed significant fluid in my lungs. I was sent on an emergency basis to the hospital’s dialysis unit and 10 pounds of fluid was removed, primarily from my lungs.
Saturday and Sunday were busy with tests ordered by my nephrologist and cardiologist. The most significant test to determine whether I could be released from the hospital was a heart echo cardiogram performed Sunday morning. Although it showed that my heart function is diminishing, the cardiologist did not feel that it warranted more invasive tests such as a heart biopsy or heart catheterization.
Without going into too much detail, a decision was made to lower my “dry weight” at dialysis and to be more aggressive in removing fluids during dialysis. If this works and I do not accumulate fluid in my lungs, great. If I have continuing problems then I will go back into the hospital for more invasive heart studies. I am praying the more aggressive dialysis works!
On Monday, I went to my regular dialysis and they removed approximately 6 lbs of fluid. If you're keeping score, and if my math is correct, that means on Saturday and Monday, more than 16 lbs of fluid was removed through dialysis. That’s more than 2 gallons of fluid in 3 days.
As I write this on Thursday night, I am feeling pretty good. I had physical therapy today and tomorrow I will go to dialysis.
Months ago, I wrote that this journey through the tall weeds was a roller coaster. This past week certainly exemplified the quickly changing ups and downs.
My brother, Chuck flew into town Monday and we took him to the airport Thursday morning to return home to Kentucky. You may recall from earlier posts that he was/is my spiritual mentor – when I was a teenager, I could always go to him for advice. His visit was way too short. I told him that one of my favorite memories of his trip will be his interaction with Jenny and David's children, Andrew and Megan last night. They really took to him this visit.
Dear God – thank you for saving my life. I have never been so scared. I thought you were bringing me home. Father, that was so frightening and painful, fighting for every breath. If it is your will, I pray that whenever it occurs, I may enter your presence peacefully. Father, this is hard on Patra. She has been through so much. Please wrap her in your love. I pray that the new aggressive dialysis will prevent any reoccurrence of the fluid in my lungs.
We should be reporting the birth of Riley Bugg in next week’s post. I can’t wait to meet him.
Until next Friday. God willing.
Bob
Comments
Take care my friend - know that the thoughts and prayers are constantly there for you and your family.
Love
Ted & Carol
Jon/Marilyn
Blessings on you and your family this week,
Kari for the Mattingly's
Love to you and Patra,
Linda Hyde
Following your blog, thinking of you a lot.
Steve Stuart
I think I know what you were feeling and it is very frightening. I have asthma and when I have an episode, I fight for every breath. I'm studying 2 Kings in Bible study and am reminded how Hezekiah called out to the Lord and wept bitter tears when told he was about to die. Isaiah wasn't any farther than the middle court when God heard and answered Hezekish's prayer and extended his life for 15 more yrs! Now we know what happened in those 15 years. : ) But the point is, God heard Hezekiah. God heard you and was gracious to you, too. Patra, will get a kick out of this...my wrap-up in 2 weeks is on that very incident. I often thought of Hezekiah when I was going through my treatments. I remember thinking, I can't pray as he, cause his life was exemplary up to that point. I just prayed whatever time is left, I wouldn't mess up as badly as he did. He even heard and responded to that puny prayer! God is good. Does Psalm 139 help you? I used to focus on vs.'s 1-14. Bob, in our worse distress, He is with us. He's with you too, brother. I'm confident he will give you a smooth home-going when He calls for you. Not to worry. My mom used to say, just ask for that, and He'll grant it. He did in her home-going. PLUS, Jesus and the angels will be with us to escort us home. IN HIS TIME...His perfect time.
Annette
Howard
.
Praying for your comfort, healing, and a safe, joyous arrival of little Riley next week.
Donna
We were away from an available computer for your blog last week. However, when we returned home, it sure was good to see you and your grandsons(all four of them). You looked and sound so much like BOB again. It is a blessing, a true blessing!!
However, you have certainly been on a roller coaster, that is for sure.
Thank you, Jesus, for allowing Bob to stay with us. We are glad that he can meet his new grandsons.
You are correct, Bob, Patra is the BEST. We are happy that you could help her celebrate her birthday by getting home from the hospital and being there with her.
We continue to pray for you. We love you both and will touch bases soon with you.
Lex and Linda